A Blue Sky To Call Home
by dragooncanon
Summary: [SaiyukiStigma crossover]AU. Saiyuki told in the story line of Kazuya Minekura's Stigma. Lots of angst and yaoi. [SanzoxGoku] I changed chapter one!
1. Call My Name

I don't own Saiyuki or Stigma. The story is just an adaptation of Saiyuki into the story of Stigma. And in case you don't know, Stigma is a manga by Kazuya Minekura herself.So all other disclaimers are applied too.

_Story is in Genjo Sanzo's narrative_

A Blue Sky To Call Home

"It's a dark world, walking under the ash-gray skies. I want to hold you and then, I'd have my own world."

**(I ) **Call my name

"I want to be called, even if I hear so many voices… I will always hear you call my name…"

I was in the bar. The smell of alcohol filled my nostrils. I had nowhere to go. No name to be called. I only called myself _Sanzo, _the only word that came to my mind. I have no memory, no past and therefore, I will have no future.

The truth is, one day I had woken up and then , there. There was only a void. An emptiness inside of me...

I stared into my glass of wine, then I looked up and I saw _her_.

She was a whore.

She had to give herself up for others, sacrificing herself for ther plesure.

With smile, hse asked me where I was headed. I answered that Iwas headed nowehre. "Is that so?"

"Well, then have you ever seen hell?" she asked me, leaning on my table.

I ansered, no and she smile again, "I have to take at least three roudtrips through it..." she muttered. With a wild look in her eye, I could almost sense what she wanted.

"Sorry, I'm not interested." I replied.

"That's too bad. Truth is, I kind of like you." she said, walking beside me. She placed her hand on my shoulder.

She smiled so innocently then..

"You better get going, becuase maybe you ought to do something better than living in hell everyday..."

A soft sigh came from her as she slowly walked away.

The next day, her body was found, lifeless in a back alley.

I was there again at the bar.

I over heard some guys near me, talking.

"If only she had listened to me. She had a good sum of money to keep her alive... Ifonly she listened to me, then I didn't have to kill her. Oh well, everyone will forget by tomorrow. Who would care for a dead whore..."

Suddenly, the smellalcohol and the blood and the gunpowder reached right inside of me.

And I slowly pulled out a gun and i gnored the screams of the people. They called me, but I didn't turn around.

She picked a one way ticket., but it wasn't to hell. It was just to a world of nothing.

But I didn't have a ticket, so where was I to go?

And I didn't have a past. All I had was emptiness and a void of no emotions.

Tempting yet unfeasible illusions.

I had no where to go and I came from no where...

I remember wakingup ona heap of garbage, bleeding.

_Alone…_

With a suit case at my side

_Nameless…_

I had no memory

_Soulless…_

It was after a great war.

The sky had become gray. There were no more birds. They had become extinct. The future was soulless. Like me. It had no future and so didn't I…

A blue sky...

It was something never uttered anymore. Were we being mocked that the transparency of the blue sjy had gone away and fade into this ash-grey color? The sky was petrified and faded.

When I try to notice it...  
I havealways beenlooking at the ground  
Am I afraid of catching sight of my past? Or am I looking for the "me" I dropped somewhere along the way  
All I know is how low the sky feels and how near the ground is

_Nowhere to go…_

_How does the time pass?_

_While I wonder aimlessly…_

_With out a conscience…_

_Without a past or a future…_

I left the bar and walked silently outside, staring down at the ground. I couldn't look up at the sky, for I was troubled by my sins. I couldn't look forward, knowing there was nowhere to go to.

Everyday, I would wander the soils of this damn earth. Slowly withering, with my life…

I would always be somewhere else. See other people… but none were familiar. I was like a lost child, looking for someone to go to. Looking for someone I know… even if I felt deep inside… I would never find anyone.

_No one…_

Then that time I didn't look forward at my future, but my future came to me…

To Be Continued…


	2. The Boy, The Feather and I

I don't own Saiyuki or Stigma. The story is just an adaptation of Saiyuki into the story of Stigma. So all other disclaimers are applied too. And the chapter title was derived from Stigma too and one line here comes from the song, _Solitude_; Sanzo's image song on the _Requiem Four Songs _CD.  
Oh, and if you don't know what Stigma is, it's a manga by Kazuya Minekura, who created Saiyuki, Wild Adapter and other manga.

I hope you like this, I already have the end in mind and if you're the type who likes happy fairy tale endings or abhors an imperfect ending stay away. For those who already read Stigma, yes, I _am_ keeping the same ending (please don't tell it in your reviews, okay?), meaning no one's going to find a perfectly happy ending here. So if you're the type who hates a sad ending, this is an early warning, stay away. The ending of Stigma is so sad and heart wrenching. Oh and I changed some parts so that I could fit the storyline of Saiyuki in.

_Story is in Genjo Sanzo's narrative_

A Blue Sky To Call Home

"That day the world collapsed leaving only me. The sky I looked up at was heavy and all its color had been silenced. I still don't know what happened to the sun that should have been shining there." – Excerpt from Stigma by Kazuya Minekura

2 The Feather, the Boy and I

"It doesn't matter where we go, it doesn't matter how far we go, for we can't get away from that gray sky."

And under that gray sky, I met _him_.

The day was dreary. As if the sky felt just as grouchy as I did.

I would wonder sometimes how I could even dare to look at it… So I hung my head to stare at the cold ground.

"_Hey, get back here, kid!"_

And I walked on, carrying my suitcase, my only link to the past, the one that was beside me when I woke up with no memories whatsoever. I was indifferent to the unreal world of merry people around me. It had become one of those times when I wished that the earth was just dead…

"_He's getting away!" _

A heavy feeling lingered around me as yesterday came to haunt me again. It was like the entire world was on my shoulders. To me, it felt so sickening. I despised it so much.

_Sometimes, I wish I were dead…_

Isn't there some times when you feel so rotten and something writhes inside you and you feel as if something dies within?

Like when a big disappointment comes your way, for example, you failed school or the girl you love turns you down or when your parents get angry at you. And you just feel like you want to kill the entire world and destroy everything you see. That urge rages like a stormy sea within me, but I know I can't do anything to drive it away, so I bottle it up inside only to let me eat me up within. The sorrow just seeps out, but no tears will ever roll down, because anger melts away that grief into hate.

_I hate the world…_

Have you ever been through a time when there was just no way out of this chasm of depression?

You would just black out and it's like the entire world is against you. The only one you can rely on is yourself. I've learned that after all the sorrow I've stared coldly in the face. I just need my self…

I don't need anyone.

_Can't you see? This is my solitude._

Then, while my head was clouded by all those thoughts of anger hate, denial, I saw a green feather, so I bent down and picked it up. I halted and I stood there staring at it. These days, because there are no more birds in existence, feathers are rare, so I was awed to see one just on the floor. It seemed only a few minutes passed as I tried to make out the reason why it was there. Then in split second, I felt a crushing force hurl onto me. The impact knocked me down on the floor. I raised my head and I saw a boy with golden eyes and brown hair on my lap; curiously, binoculars were around his neck. He looked at me ashamedly.

"I'm so sorry, uncle!" he exclaimed, getting up. Then he looked at my hand which still clutched the feather. "Hey, that's mine!"

The boy reached out to get it, too bad for him that I seized it away from him. Isn't it whenever you're grumpy, you feel like taking it out on others by teasing them? That's how I felt at that time.

I stood up, leaving my suitcase on the floor.

"Give it back, uncle!" he yelled. I shook my head and held it further away.

"Why the hell did you bump into me?" I angrily demanded, "Are you in a hurry, kid?"

He frowned, "Yeah, so what? Some men were chasing me cause they were after the feather. I thought I lost it."

Unmoved, I just handed the feather. There was no use teasing him any longer as it got foolish. I don't know why, but the pleasure seemed all gone…

"Thank you, uncle." he said.

"I'm not old, so don't call me uncle. I have a name you know."

"What's your name then?"

"I'm Sanzo."

He beamed, "My name is Goku!"

We stood there for awhile, looking at each other.

"Are you traveling alone?" I asked, while he stuffed the feather into his pocket. "It's dangerous." Not that I really cared. I just want the silence to be broken so that he could finally leave me. I was in a bad mood.

There are just some people who cannot take a hint, so sometimes; you just have to lay it out for them.

"Yeah, I am." Goku replied, holding up his binoculars to his eyes. Then he looked up at the sky. "I used to live with grandpa long before the war. But he died, so he stayed with this guy named Konzen! He has really pretty hair that sparkles like the sun, like yours, Sanzo!" I looked at him as if he was insane, but he didn't notice as he continued to look up at the sky. "My grandpa was a zoologist and he studied birds a lot, so I know quite a lot about them. Right before he died, he gave me the green feather. Then, I was with Konzen. He's a nice guy, but he's kinda grumpy though." Goku continued. I snorted. As if I wanted his entire life story… "Anyway, the war broke out soon and you know what happened after that… Well, Konzen told me that the birds didn't die out. He told me that they just flew away because we were so bad. He said that they're somewhere where there's a blue sky…" I knew that was impossible. There was only a gray sky and no one, not even the birds can escape from it, no matter how far or where they fly to.

Then he was silent, still looking up intently at the sky.

"That's why I'm traveling. I'm searching for them."

"For whom?" I asked.

"I'm searching for birds. I know that they're not extinct."

"What about Konzen?"

"He's dead…"

I averted my eyes from him. Geez, he was like a walking curse. Everyone around him is dying.

Then Goku lowered his binoculars.

"How about you; are you headed anywhere?" Goku asked, "You seem to be with that suitcase and all." I didn't want this conversation to last any longer, but kids are always so persistent and once you start answering their questions, there's no backing out.

"I'm looking for something I lost a very long time ago…" I answered.

"Have you found it yet?"

"I wouldn't be traveling if I had…" I grumbled, burrowing my hands in my pockets. I was already irritated to the point of no return and this Goku kid either ignored the fact that I wanted him to go away or he was too stupid to understand my hints.

Then Goku spoke up, "Are you alone?"

Alone is all I've ever had and it's all I'll ever need, so how can you say other wise? I nodded, "I've never considered having a companion."

"Sanzo, do you think we can travel together?"

"What do you mean?" I looked at him skeptically.

"It's just that it's kinda lonely traveling alone and besides… I don't know why, but you remind me of – never mind... Besides, you're alone and so am I and you said it yourself it is dangerous for me to go alone! So what do you say, Sanzo, huh?"

I was hesitant.

I didn't need another burden and it would be difficult to have a child as I traveled. Besides, I hated company. And it's been just a few minutes since we met, how could he ask me that? What a stupid brat…

He saw the uncertainty in my eyes for sure because he impulsively grabbed my suit case. "Come on, Sanzo!"

"Hey, you, give that back or I'll kill you!" I growled, reaching out to get the suitcase which was kept from my reach.

"Even just for now, Sanzo! I'll leave whenever you tell me!" he said, trying to move my suitcase away, "Pretty, pretty please!"

I snorted. It seemed that there was no winning over him. I reluctantly nodded as he cheered, throwing my suitcase at me. I could feel eminent dread fall upon my shoulders.

And people say I'm a total jerk while here I am giving in to some kid. There's just no winning over the persistent. Anyway, once we get to town, I can safely get rid of him in an orphanage or something.

Then I turned to look at Goku.

"We're gonna have so much fun, ne, Sanzo?"

It was going to be a long day….

To be continued…


End file.
